Imperfect

dynamic network fit

I found Davey's What you like complementary to how one could curate life groups with how it illustrated the inherent dynamism of groups. They endure transformations like growth, shrinkage, and splintering across various time scales. Factors change in real time, some quicker than our own eye movements we can barely detect.

Life is its own network of networks. Life is network building. Even as everything including yourself changes, you can still continue to play the game. Yet, any game within the game can make or break the latter.

As a real example I stumbled upon, just because the person you are dating now is OK with you having dated people in the past doesn't mean they will continue to be OK with it.

Perfection gives way to good enough and that comes with variance. Aligning mobile expectations within an acceptable threshold can be the difference between a nasty breakup or rising up from the valley unscathed. Treat both the unit and its individual constituents with the respect each deserves.

To me, Davey's "There are lots of different ways to fit" targets my struggle with "making hobbyists of friends" and vice versa, first outlined in the exotics problem. Perhaps it's not a matter of flipping a switch, but rather building the groundwork for scale and acceleration to increase gradually over time. Although, writing this out makes me wonder how much expedient effort I expended for said aim in the first place.

A recent blog post I forgot to bookmark supported asking questions like "What can you offer?" and "How can you be of value?". They suggested stepping into your target's shoes over assuming you're good enough for them. That elaboration also comes in handy for questions facing the opposite direction like "What are you looking for in a partner?". That includes distinction between shared values and interests, which may very well manifest as "what they are like" deriving from "what they like".

People can be as much problems as solutions, answers as questions. Life throws us into constant inversions including but not limited to peaks and valleys, happy to sad, riches to rags, and vice versa. If you can handle the g-forces, the excitement of the roller coaster can beat the tedium of the plateau.

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