untangle asks
Asking for help can be tricky.
I can arrive with the incorrect problem. This problem type doesn't affect what I want in the first place. If nobody else can tell my problem is incorrect, where can I go from there? If it's wrong by not doing enough research, that's a bad sign.
I can propose the wrong solution to a correct problem. This can be worse if the wrong solution is distracting or left in an unhelpful place. This can be better than arriving with the wrong problem though. Producing the right problem but the wrong solution may coax experts to correct me.
I can propose a wrong solution to an incorrect problem. That's more distracting. Not only would experts have to correct me, but we would also have to find the right problem.
I can show what I know about a correct problem. Information replacing a wrong solution shows humility and effort.
I can show up with preexisting conditions that prevent accepting working solutions. Solutions can be too treacherous, costly, or prohibitive in other ways.
That's great and all, but...
It's one thing to ask for help after putting in a decent effort and failing. A good try is admirable. But why do I do this for tasks not central to my success or internal validation? I should be able enough to translate this to works that affect my bottom line.
What happens when I arrive having done little to nothing? I haven't exhausted my energy. I haven't contacted my friends. I haven't completed my reps. I haven't taken the time. Telling others the truth sounds ridiculous when put this way. I don't behave in this self-deprecating manner in other contexts.
What reply should I expect from any hypothetical recipient of that information? Humiliation and other negative responses seem too cruel. Pity, sympathy, and encouragement have good and cozy intentions. Those may not address the core issue.
Adding another dimension to the cases above, you can ask the wrong people for help. Their alignment isn't wrong. Rather, it's that they aren't a fitting recipient for my questions. I don't have to ask for help from the perfect person. The person answering should have at least some insight for how to help me though.
If there are better fitting puzzle pieces to use, use them. That's better than damaging cardboard by forcing a good fit. Puzzle pieces are choices. Each infinite pause between the present and the next beat is a choice too. Belief is the gate. Choice is the key. Effortlessness is the trial. This applies for huge decisions and all the small things too.
I can assume other states I wish to assume. I can interject choice before bad habits. I can apply expression through movement to cut through worrisome thinking. I can feed my mind the fullness of helpful choices and people instead of clearing it.
Ask the right people the right questions. Provide enough information and think that you can find an answer. Watch how things start falling into place.