Imperfect

revive dormant friendships

Inspired by Toska's Unfollowing my dead friends.

Friendships are as sticky as their glue. When trust, interest, or attention fades, they can fall apart too.

Yet, dormant friends surround us and interject our thoughts. They live within walking distance, halfway around the world, and anywhere in between. They remain in spaces we deserted and vice versa. We find them at formative events only for them to disappear until the next one, if not forever.

Feelings of separation and yearning strike face-to-face, online, and hybrid connections alike. When did you last sense that a friend was not only alive but active as well? Was it in-person, on a call, via messaging, or through your friends list? How long has it been since the last encounter: months, years, or even decades?

Thinking about your friends serves as a better call to action than a call to imagination. Only you can cut through the silence to gauge the possibility of reconnection. Sometimes it's possible. Other times it's not. The bridge from Pinegrove - Old Friends comes to mind:

Walking out in the nighttime springtime / Needling my way home / I saw Leah on the bus a few months ago / I saw some old friends at her funeral

My steps keep splitting my grief / Through these solipsistic moods / I should call my parents when I think of them / Should tell my friends when I love them

It retells [Redacted]'s RIP ARQ ✞: a story where the girl that was a friend to anyone passed after break. Worse is the revelation found years later that she took her own life. Yet, the bridge's lesson repeats:

So... all this to say, cherish your time here. Tell the people you love that you love them. Give thanks for what you have. And try to help those around you. Cliches and tropes and all that. But there's nothing more important in life than that.

Like Evan from Pinegrove and [Redacted] above, you don't always get the chance to send foolproof sign-offs:

The more involuntary a departure is, the harder it can be for people to come to terms with.

I think of Jeff and his recent posts, starting with Death is Real. Becoming a widow so suddenly, so early seems unfathomable to me. Finding the will to move on must continue to weigh heavy on his soul. I can only hope that people like him, whom have suffered greatly, find peace and regain their secure footing on the face of the Earth.

Do any or all of your dormant friends deserve to remain as such until death? If not, is there any way you can revive those friendships before then?

Want to reach out? Connect with me however you prefer: