make work bearable
In at which point does something become unbearable?, Midnight shared the good parts of their job:
next year, it'll be two years since i started working at my company
they're keeping me around because they'll need me at some point
the benefits and the flexibility that i'm getting are unbeatable, and i genuinely like my teammates and am friends with some of them. these are things people would kill to have.
I agree with their assessment. However, it hasn't been all sun and roses:
it feels like i've contributed way too little
a year and a half of doing close to nothing eventually eats you up with guilt and makes you question about whether you're worthy of being here or not.
I've been thinking about moving workplaces for a while now, but with the current job market condition, it doesn't seem like a smart move.
but i'm not contributing anything and it makes me question my self-worth. so at which point should i call it quits, i wonder?
Could there be another way out besides quitting?
If I were in Midnight's shoes, I would first remedy my work-life balance and self-worth distribution, if needed. A fluid approach to meaning finds fulfillment from multiple dynamic facets of life, some compensating for a lack of others. For example: if work by itself doesn't demand enough contributions and instill enough self-worth, where else can those factors be found?
Then, I would communicate with my boss and other key individuals about my concerns. If they agree, I can work with them to solve our mutual concerns. If they disagree and I align with them, then I can set aside my concerns. If they disagree but I don't align with them, I can work with them to find and execute a solution that bridges the gap. If that gap truly cannot be bridged, solving my concerns alone might just work. Whether my solution manifests as independent work, adjacent work, or a new workplace would be up to me.
I will say that Midnight can be even more grateful for being in their position compared to the reverse. It isn't fun questioning your self-worth over possibly not contributing enough on your own. However, it isn't the shock of having your rug pulled out from under you. That realization alone could reveal how people like Midnight and others could make their work bearable once again.