Imperfect

foolproof sign-offs

In end the conversation, just a dot reflects on troubles signing off, ending with:

So what do you do? Do you sign off in your messages?

It depends on the medium. I sign off much more after real-time communication (in-person, calls, etc.) than I do through asynchronous means (messages, chats, etc.). At first glance, emails seem like a notable exception to the latter. However, the sign-offs occur after every beat like written letters, and unlike the uncommon closing of conversation wanted from online messaging.

As far as ideas go, my initial thought after reading was ending with something they will cherish before they disappear.

It seems extreme, but let me illustrate simple examples. A short and sweet "love you" works great for family you're on good terms with or close friends. Conversations in less intimate, familial, or tangible relationships can be met with a gratitude like "I appreciate you". Those are beautiful notes to end on that also make people you care for feel valued.

Genuine expressions of gratitude can be less prone to the breakage of subliminal promises. I think of closers like "see you next time", "keep in touch", or "don't hesitate to contact me". While they can work to great effect, they can also influence pressure, guilt, or the inaction they advise against.

For more meaty closers, compound gratitudes together. "Thanks for reaching out" shows that you cherished someone's invitation to reconnect. "It's good chatting it up with you" from the post linked above expresses the benefits someone had on you. More options can be found through workshopping with friends, reframing banal replies, or prompting artificial intelligence if you're open to it.

Signing off doesn't have to be linguistic in nature. It can be felt or seen too. A screenshot, an animated image, or a hug can be as sentimental as language if not moreso. To an extent, it's not about how you say goodbye compared to having the wherewithal to say goodbye in the first place. The more you say goodbye, the more you realize there's a chance for a final one that you hope you don't forget.

With as many options that exist, all conversations eventually peter out. What's comforting is that those who care for you, those who have something important to tell you will cut through the silence. Asynchronous communication is the curse of not knowing when a conversation will resume. It can also the blessing of possible contact, whether tomorrow or a decade from now.

However, what about people who felt like they couldn't receive the final sign-off from someone or something else? Some television channels still screen regularly scheduled nightly intermissions. Their eventual closedown gives off a different vibe, which becomes more stark if the audience misses it. The more involuntary a departure is, the harder it can be for people to come to terms with.

I think of Jeff and his recent posts, starting with Death is Real. Becoming a widow so suddenly, so early seems unfathomable to me. Finding the will to move on must continue to weigh heavy on his soul. I can only hope that people like him, whom have suffered greatly, find peace and regain their secure footing on the face of the Earth.

Even in times of grief and hardship, your self-perception informs your perception of others and vice versa. Somehow, you move forward, if not for yourself at first, for their sake.

Consider the sentimentality of voicemails, messages, and photographs of the departed. Their essence continues through you not only by your interactions with or memories of them, but by your connection that transcends mortality. Even messages that are explicitly not sign-offs can appear like great ones under the right conditions. Sometimes, they keep you going. This is why you leave things behind. If your essence circulates beyond your mortal self, do you ever truly die?

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