Imperfect

deeper conversation strategies

A reply to Dabi's Deeper conversations.

Abundant small talk can induce yearning for deeper conversations that heal the soul. It can also welcome them into the room. You can open with as niche or empathetic a statement as you choose. Don't underestimate the power of precisely expressing your taste or openness to novelty at the right time. Not only can it lengthen a conversation from mere seconds to hours and beyond, but it can also widen the scope of discussion to unexpected boundaries. Yes, you can quickly build rapport by mastering the art of flipping small talk into talks you want to see more of.

In the great outdoors, not everyone wears their passion on their sleeve. Spatial and mental contexts like work, family, and errands often get in the way. Perhaps that's where you can come in and show that you have others' subconscious excitment points in mind. Besides verbal openers, there may be non-verbal actions (mannerisms, gestures, etc.) and objects (clothes, accessories, etc.) that rile up others' senses. You can ask for what you want without saying a word, and others can pick that up quicker like catching a ball without thinking. I would go so far as to say that virtual realms operate very similarly. Think about how a user's profile picture or bio tinges the way you view them as a person. You can do so much with so little.

You can always be more straightforward with your connection attempts. Chances are you know people passionate about the same topics that you're passionate about. Perhaps take some time to discover their preferred platform and any accommodations they have related to contacting them. Get to know them a little more. Remind yourself that even if they're at the top of their game, they're just as human and fallible as you are. Then reach out kindly and respectfully in the hope that you gradually lead them to deeper conversations with you. Give them some time. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. Don't be afraid of switching communication methods, especially if you think you can meet them where they are at better. Your persistence can go a long way toward showing not only that you care, but that you improve your attempts at connecting over time.

If you don't know who you want to contact, it's time to list and refine your ideal conversation partners. If you could have a deeper conversation with anybody in the world, who would that be? Understand the why behind your decision. If that purpose is genuine and in good faith, work backwards to find out how you can connect with them. Chances are they are a few messages or folks away from you, if not only one message away.

You can also move in the other direction. As an example, what's your most burning question that you want an answer to? Find the people with the answers, or more likely, those with extra questions or contacts to clarify your search. Find the people that match best with the leads you have been graced with.

There are so many different ways to initiate deeper conversations with anyone and everyone in our vicinity that it makes me question whether most cases of loneliness and boredom are, in reality, learned helplessness. By my decrepit inbox, I must be guilty of the same.

Want to reach out? Connect with me however you prefer: