Imperfect

connection as homecoming

In his seedling tweet, Visa shared a screenshot of a lengthy paragraph from what appears to be his Substack. Him feeling that "the most consequential thing here is that I feel ready and eager to get back to work" contrasts with the in-progress status of his move back home. It also contrasts with how offline he has been as of late, needing to tend to himself, his family, and the move. It has been an emotional and psychological transformation, reinventing his voice, problem solving, and even his chaos-surfing. The sign of a new season begs the question, "How can I grow in tandem with, or even alongside, him?"

When in doubt, "show, don't tell." The following draft reply for his post, a virtual space of one's own, would better grace the comment section rather than this post or my notes:

Looking forward to the regular videos, Visa. I found Michael Ashcroft returning to the same after about a year very welcome. It'll be just as nice seeing you return once you're ready.

When will I create a Substack account and reply as such? It's basic opportunities like that which show how I can afford more connection, better introductions, and increased probabilities of inspiration. If I find people's replies to him (or anyone else) so edifying to where I include some below, why shouldn't I honor everyone involved with my own reply?

In lieu of that, this quote from Visa's Substack post, homecoming, does show how much your outward calls to action can reflect back upon yourself:

It’s always easier to see the way out of other people’s problems. So, like Uncle Iroh said, sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to help somebody else.

Communication, beyond finding what to say, is finding whom to converse with. You can read, write, talk, and listen in hopes that you find and understand everyone that matters most to you that much more. In Belonging and writing in english, Manuel says:

It’s not only about finding interesting people, it’s also about finding interested people. It’s about finding community, about wanting to belong.

It's also about feeling at home, whether in meatspace or cyberspace, like how Visa strives to feel in his new home. Yet, one realm feeling comfortable can arise from another feeling shaky, like how Visa describes:

Maybe the sprawling online world of friends that I’ve built was significantly a consequence of me not feeling at home in my own home. But was that necessarily a good thing? I don’t know. We’ll see.

I see such friendships as good emerging from the bad, which could feel even better once he's at home. Coscorrodrift's reply to Visa's Substack post takes a hybrid approach that could result in each realm uplifting the other:

I guess I am taking a "mixed" approach of online and offline.

But does one ever truly feel at home? I think of Tala's perfectionism is a form of shame as a warning against flying too close to the sun. Even your favorite materials and aspects of life have their thorns, mediocrity, or failures. Minor mistakes are acceptable. Riffing on Perell's Conjuring Scenius, how you "emerge from catastrophe" can make the difference.

As someone having camped out in the virtual woods for too long, I have some learning to do about how to be social on the Internet once again. Visa's metamorphosis toward vulnerable, but freeing, openness in his first life can be transmuted toward anyone else's first or second lives, while still nurturing the counterpart.

On dualities, moving can be a physical ordeal: inspection surprises, multiple legs, and unopened boxes to boot. That said, be careful underestimating its mental component. Melissa replied to Visa's tweet, noting the complexity of moving and long-distance support:

moving house is so consuming and stressful, even as a single person. moving house as a family is exponentially more so. and that’s without any of the deeper reckoning and shifting you’re describing. you’re going through it, and i hope you find oases of laughter and delight and refreshment. if you’re in the arena against a bear, a lot of us wish we could hop in there and take on the bear with you. since we can’t, please imagine us cheering for you like these guys

Like cheerleaders, substitutes help out the team. Sometimes, players needing downtime deserve your substitution of like stimuli and maintained feedback loops. Even prolific creatives step aside at times. In addition to supporting fellow players with their struggles, how can you make their ecosystem flourish despite their absence? Even geniuses don't do it alone, taking a page from Kleon's Maps of scenius.

Like those maps, everything is more connected than it appears. We traverse through many nodes and circles within our tiny lives. The lessons you learn in one discipline can map across the board, whether to work, play, leisure, or otherwise. The distance you set between yourself and people, things, or even your hometown can afford space to heal, if not return gracefully. The incompleteness of your halfway house can reveal how complete your next home can be. Yet, neither you nor the river you step into remain the same over time. As Chris' reply to Visa's homecoming post goes, it's a gnarly fusion of the past and the present:

I've had a perhaps parallel experience over the last year; returning to the small town where I attended university after 15 years. Now my daughter is studying at the same university. I have a very different life here from when I was a student; as I have changed, and the town has changed too, but there's this odd layering of nostalgic experiences with novel ones.

Flux rules over all. Every visit births a new tale. Our struggles, and overcoming them, make our world that much more beautiful. In the words of the serving man from Eddison's The Worm Ouroboros: "He craveth present audience."

Want to reach out? Connect with me however you prefer: